TOT Trainees
Who am I in this work?
Why am I in this work?
I can be nothing, I can be half, or I can be everything in this work of knowledge.
In knowledge work, your contributions, accomplishments, and worth are all self-measured in my opinion.
I can be the builder as well as the dismantler. I am a natural resource. You can’t see your fear until you have faced it.
Do not become trapped in your state of being.
Home land is not always secure, because even the strongest sometimes have to travel far for a cure.
Don’t be fooled by fancy cars, big homes, or bright lights because a simple pine cone can bring happiness in life.
Wanting to avoid reflective time so bad because whenever I’m alone I think of my beautiful 3 month old daughter, It makes me so sad.
Somewhat coming out of my confusion about if I made the right choice to leave her for 2 weeks or if this just a delusion.
Although being here has somewhat influenced me on how to raise Savannah into being a thinker, a demander, a person who never loses her why I wonder if she’s even aware mommy’s on the rise to making effective moves Defining my roles as an interpreter, observer, someone who can make changes what does that prove.
I’m juggling thoughts all over the place again because I’m missing my number one ace. Sorry if I may be loosing you but I felt ist time to give some insight on what is true
Is anyone aware that while I’m here my heart leaks?
As I sit amongst the forest with my mind open but mouth left closed with no words to speak
As mind opens and broadens to think it has not yet put the materials learned in synced.
Interpreting the mission of YPP has taught me to shut-up and pay attention so that I can understand and apply the knowledge that has been mentioned for retention.
So that I can partake in a movement that will not only better me but we
“We the people” who the constitution partial defends which has handicapped us into believing that we are free and that it’s okay to pretend.
Pretend that you are knowledgeable when you are not
Pretend that you can fight your way through an unjust system when in reality the resources needed have been kept to leave you behind.
Thus far this training has taught me to unwind and think about if you refuse to be a student then you imprison your mind
Who could care less if you could read, write, have the ability to do math?
We do!
It’s crazy as I sit back and actually analyze the workshop with the different roles involved acknowledging the different processes of ways people think
The under toned message I receive is that during a child’s adolescence stage kids are constantly being shaped and what I’ve learned is that the schools and environment are turning them and us into dried grapes but we YPP and AP are given them a way to escape.
And the way I’ve learned thus far is to learn how to think, listen, and learn what is being taught
And remember that a hard ass is not always a lesson learned
Like I said my mind is all over the place because I’m missing my number one ace mommy cant wait to give you a kiss on that beautiful face
I could go on but I’m read to stop this reflection and get gone to the new stuff
Like being a team player and getting to climb that tree, and walk that log, and conquer it all!! And for all who don’t know what I’m speaking about I’ll give you a hint it’s called life!
Where can I begin? This is my first time in almost 24 years being out of town with out the protection of my mom or an aunt and I’ve been home sick since we left Chicago Tuesday. But TOT has proven to be a useful and valuable tool when it comes to my self-image and the development of myself as a knowledge worker. When we reflected Friday I spoke from off the top of my head but for the sake of the blog I will let my pen assault this paper!!!
Who Me?
Me being smart was something I always saw
I guess not realizing the power my intellect held was my flaw
Coming from deep in the hood, I saw everything from violence to drugs
Most of my friends moms were addicts ignoring their kids, not worried about giving hugs
My mom pushed me to read (library every two weeks) and make me diverse
She made sure the good would not be my security (she calls it a curse)
I finished high school, NHS and all
But my intellect was still not power, that was still my flaw
This flaw followed me through 4 years of college, I finally got my degree
My mom called me a role model, and that day I declared my mantra and said “Who me?”
I worked job after job, noting I wanted to do
What the hell did I get a degree for, I had no clue
Eventually I discovered YPP and had to become a leader which they developed at YPP
Then hear can that mantra “Who Me?”
I’m not leader material; I wasted my time in school
The blind cant lead the blind, it’s like a fool training a fool
Now I’m a participant at TOT and they help you find you, they give you obvious keys cause I damned sure found me, me, me I love me
I am developing as a knowledge worker
I am thinking deeper, I found my niche
This job is a keeper
So “Who am I?” A grad student, a role model, a knowledge worker developing in YPP
So on top of finding my self-image and developing as a knowledge worker, I’ve learned valuable information. I have many competencies but my strong suit seems to be setting comfortable atmospheres and being concerned for others
One last inspiration (although there are so many more) I received at TOT is learning how to take move initiative. Over this past week I have been more creative in my mind and in all my working team than before. My hurdle for next week is “public speaking” so I can provide my insight and take initiative as it related to a larger team dynamic.
.....here is not Banning, nor YPP, but any where I have the freedom to listen to myself before I am asked to speak
